cheese slicer



Acacia Box Cheese Grater

Posted on: December 22nd, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy 1 Comment

While wading through cheese slicer / grating products at the store, the Acacia Box Cheese Grater by Enrico instantly grabbed the attention of my eyes and nearly pulled them out as if to say a decorous approach to the product wouldn’t suffice.

Beautifully crafted, this manual cheese grater is everything I could hope for.

As I mentioned in my previous article on the Swissmar Grate and Shake Cheese Grater, I suffered an injury using a handheld microplane at home.

My appendages felt very safe as I picked it up off of the shelf and conjured thoughts of grating cheese.

Solid, sturdy and well-crafted, this glorious grater easily stabilizes itself on flat surfaces with its ‘foot stop’ allowing for full, elegant, and most importantly, danger free passes.

As is depicted in the image, the internal drawer slides open for access to the grated cheese. The unit comes with two blades: one for soft cheese and another for soft and is thankfully dishwasher safe.

It would have been in my kitchen moments after holding it if not for the steep retail price of $45. Naturally online retailers offer much better pricing.

Swissmar at its finest

Posted on: December 20th, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy No Comments

On my last trip to Sur La Table (yes, it is pronounced SUR – LA – TAB, I asked), I came across the Swissmar Grate and Shake Cheese Grater. I felt an instant longing to replace my standard handled microplane. Me and my microplane have quite a history.

A few months ago, I was grating a block of Parmigiano-Reggiano, holding the microplane in a fixed position and moving the block back and forth against the grater. I decided to switch things up and move the grater against cheese block.

A scant few seconds later I slipped (no, I was not intoxicated at this point) and grated my thumb open, producing a copious amount of blood.

I picked up the Swissmar grater and knew all my problems had come to an end.

Stainless steel (hello dishwasher) and sturdy, the 4 inch grater measuring 2 inches in circumference is build to do what I attempted with my microplane: keep the cheese block stationary and move the grater back and forth.

I could feel pure relaxation spreading over my body like the cloud of cologne that envelopes anyone who steps into Abercrombie and Fitch.

The magic, however, comes after the grating.

The grated cheese is contained within the cylinder and there’s an opening at the top of the grater for pouring the grated cheese over foods. Truly a thing of beauty.

I would much prefer that one of these was found full of freshly grated cheese next time I’m at the Olive Garden. It would make for much less interruption, allowing me to focus on their sub standard wine menu.

The Zyliss Cheese Slicer That Couldn’t

Posted on: December 9th, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy No Comments

Zyliss has taken a unique approach to their cheese slicer and made it adjustable. Conceptually, I think this is the best thing that has happened to the cheese plane since it was invented at the turn of the 20th century.

As you can see from the picture, there is a wheel at the edge of the handle for dialing in the perfect slice, whether that be thick or thin.

The handle is ergonomically designed which is really nice when slicing from a block of hard cheese, also the blade is flush with the slicer so there’s no chance of accidentally slicing yourself instead of the cheese (yes, that really does happen).

While the price compares very well to most non-adjustable cheese slicers out there, the Zyliss slicer suffers from an overall lack of quality, which results in the slicer taking chunks off the edge of the cheese block rather than creating a nice even slice, gumming up the slicer and destroying the block.

Naturally the type of cheese (soft, semi-soft, hard) can play a role in this. I’m sure there are some cheeses that slicer wonderfully and others that are brutally savaged, but I don’t see poor quality or inconsistency as an advantage.

If thou doth serve cheese…

Posted on: December 7th, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy 1 Comment

Here, in no particular order, are the commandments for cutting and preparing cheese for consumption…

  • Thou shalt serve all cheese at room temperature.
  • Thou shalt cut soft cheese when it is chilled to make thy cheese look more proper and holy.
  • Thou shalt cut hard cheese at room temperature so thou doest not cut off any of thy members.
  • If thy cheese hast wax or a rind, then shalt thou score the cheese before cutting.
  • Thou shalt not be uncouth; therefore shalt thou removest that which is unclean, such as surface mold and dry spots for this is seen an unclean in the sight of thine guests.
  • Cutting cheese into cubes is right out. If thou cutteth thy cheese into cubes, thy guests shall turn their backs on thee. Therefore, thou shalt cut they cheese in triangles, which is pleasing unto all.
  • Thusly if thou hath a cheese wheel, thou shalt cut thine wheel in halves or quarters and thus proceed to cutting thy cheese from its radius into pleasing triangles.
  • If thou hast bought a block of cheese, then thou must take thine block and cut it crosswise at angles to produce pleasing triangles.

TSA approved cheese slicers

Posted on: November 18th, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy 1 Comment

For those of you who are rather fond of your cheese slicer and see yourself traveling in the near future, I want you to know that I will be working with the government and the TSA to obtain the right to issue licenses for cheese slicers.

What does this mean? Let’s be honest, no one wants to slice cheese with a pre-fondle slicer. If you’re traveling, yes, you’ll get felt up by the TSA, but those of you who have been issued a cheese slicer license will have the luxury and peace of mind knowing that your cheese slicer is legally protected by the federal government and won’t be subjected to a thorough groping.

Grabbing your favorite cheese slicer won’t conjure up psychologically traumatizing memories of when your slicer was subjected to a straight up out-and-out pat down. Plus, your cheese blocks won’t have any awkward questions for your slicer about past encounters, diseases, contact and the like.

And in the interest of making sure your slicer is provided and maintains the rights given by such a license, I will also be working with the legal departments across the country to assure you have proper recourse should you find your slicers’ rights being violated due to profiling or other discriminatory reasons.

Stay tuned for more information…

Safety first would be a good idea.

Posted on: November 18th, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy No Comments

Amusing cheese slicer video of hormones vs. safety. (PG-13)

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A cheese slicer nightmare (hilarious).

Posted on: November 2nd, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy 4 Comments

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Origin of the Cheese Slicer

Posted on: October 21st, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy 1 Comment

Cheese has been around for thousands of years. Our earliest know record of cheese making dates back to Sumerian cuneiform tablets around 3,500 B.C. But did you know that the cheese slicer is a modern invention? We have lived thousands of years cutting cheese until a Norwegian carpenter with the epic name of Thor Bjorkland noticed a block of cheese sitting next to his carpentry plane.

carpentry plane
cheese slicer

Thus the cheese plane (cheese slicer) was born and patented around 1925. That leaves only a handful of people at this time who could even tell what it was like to live without a tool standard to pretty much every kitchen. Thankfully I don’t have to draw upon those memories.

Pop open the champaign…and bring out the cheese slicers!

Posted on: October 17th, 2010 by Cheese Slicer Guy 4 Comments

Hey guys! This is my first post, and I’m pretty excited about that (see headline of article). Get ready for upcoming articles and content on cheese slicers as well as an updated custom cheesy theme. As always, we are accepting comments. Feel free to share.


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